Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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