You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
