i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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