haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
