Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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