Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
