Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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