also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
