marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
