ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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