that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
