What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
