i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
