I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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