Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
