Duck Duck Cougar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
