i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
