I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
