too bad you live with your parents still
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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