She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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