btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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