K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
