my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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