I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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