who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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