I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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