I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Randomize
