i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
