I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I have fence marks all over my body
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
