I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
