I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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