So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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