I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
