All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
