put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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