Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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