She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
