Please don't use social media to get back at me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
