i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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