it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize