evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We got so high we made milksteak
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
