She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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