Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Randomize
