I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
