I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
