I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
