absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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