He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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