you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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