im holly from the hills drunk
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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