AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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