you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
