you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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