I'm laying in your front yard are you home
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
