the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
