HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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