There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
