I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
