Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
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